Monday, July 11, 2005
23:37

"mixed emotions + screwed up"DAY
that's e name i wld giv the day tt's gonna past soon.
yupp.
honestly.

reached sch.. earlier than i expected.. den KL n Ven went 2 e staffrm w mua to get e ge0g books. thankz gurls. chinese sucked. seriously. i hate this lesson. its nt only boring. its retarded. learning chinese under e conditions we are in IS retarded. zzz. n tt crackling screechy voice of my cher keeps me awake, w no choice. cuz its too piercing already. den came the first time. the first chance. but what did i do? i jus stared. n walked away. i felt so much hatred comin outta my eyes. why? i tot it was meant to b.. different? haiz. i feel so akward now. everythin seems so dumb to me now. so what if others found out frm tt someone's mouth. or maybe my resources were wrong? but definitely nt what. den ii suddenly felt so.. feverish. cldnt focus. i was copyin blindly durin phys lesson. n E maths.. i was jus slacking like shit. the only gd thin i did was to help marcus with his compo. sighh. next's recess. then came the second chance. n i gave it away. fuck. i cld have jus. u knw. opened up my mouth? bt den again i thot. there wasnt a reply last time, so wld i expect one today? so shuttin my mouth up. i jus gave this chance away. came back frm recess fer eng. a bore. languages sucks. surprisingly. Add maths was nt as bad. yet it was naggy n draggy n it was tortorous. honestlyy. it felt like hours instead of jus 1 hour. geog was worse. jus bcus i forgot to distribute e bookx n issue e hmwk.. my cher was sayin tt im in another type of 'world'.. w a diff attitude. esp since e start of term 3. kai chin commented some shit. n marcus spoke too. den my cher was like. 'WHAT? WHO?' den i was. as usual. turning away, findin a way to ignore the situation. i was already feelin so fucked up.. n now so many things took a shit ass turn around n shooting me back. chance 3 came when sch ended. of cus. i didnt grab it. there were interferences. n even if i wanted to.. i sure cant de. it wld be that akward.. den after tt. i had another probbie abt lunch. b4 choir. [yup.. don't wanna say abt it.. cus.. ya i jus wont say la k?] and then there was this other problem too, which i won't say.. too.

went w rong ming, shar n he xun to macs aft choir. was fun. smiled quite a fair bit. thanks guys. esp hexun. btw.. hexun.. was cuter than my fat cat. n let me say it again. WAS. haha. inside joke. went backk w rm n shar. mmm. came online n found out tt my com was fking mad. sigh. prac piano fer founder's dae. still cant get tt part right but.. ya i guess.. tings r much more improved. but im tired. freaking tired. piano playin givs mua headaches. dotty. bt i haf no choice.

im watchin the chi drama serial... 9pm dat one. super sadistic leh! walao. the first episode so.. whaaa. sadd! all die die die de. =X scary! smth abt destinyy de.. warning: ppl w emotional unstability. parental advisory! LOL. seriously lahh. can get so depressed de lor the ppl in e show. zzz.

came online. den aft awhile. i saw smth. n i gt so freaking. t00t. zzz. thanks alot constance. =) u really are helping me alot (now) cus its keepin me distracted frm tt thingg.

-MISTER! ONE MORE DAY! MANN. ONE MORE. =( i really cant wait alreadyy. sighh. i wanna tok to u. one more day. come one. i pray tmr wil pass quicklyy. den my fingers will constantly touch the keypadss of my T610 or X430! mann! i miss u so much. in sch cant talk! but now! i dun care. 1 more day. mann!

siian. oh yea reminder to myself: tell sharifa tmr. lol.

yup. kk den. thank u guys for reading this post. lolz. byeeeeeee

-ALLinthenameofLOVE
*say goodbye to yesterday