Wednesday, May 18, 2005
18:23

o well, the day started w now-not-as-common horrible stomach probbs fer me... sighh... its getting more and more worse now. when issit eva gonna stop? its painful and i pray so much for it to get better, but its not. fuck siaz. im still praying though. my faith is weakenin, n i tink i shld go gain them all backk again. a few things happened last night... not gonna elaborate much about it... dun intend to make things worse... haha. i shld just shut up abt all these things le. it was a damn rash decision i tink... n gosh... im super stupid la... haha 2day got back results... some of them la... did badly... sighh... although i seemed to b joking abt my poor results... deep down inside... i was asking myself: how am i gonna lift my head up when i c my cousins now. i top the class for A maths... 1st... from the bottom... u tink i wasnt upset? im fucking upset! but wad can i do... nth wad... crying doesnt giv me marks to let me pass rite... sobbing over bad results will make myself feel worse only rite? but then again, i cannot help but tink abt how badly i haf done fer this midd year exams... so what if i top e class fer geog tis time... or be one of e top fer phys in my class... ii rly didnt put in my effort to study... and i hella deserve to b one of the las in the class... or mebbe even deserve to get retained... all the long... my attitude towards my studies was horrendous... in fact... my attitude towards everything is wrongg... o so wrong... english was... rly a relief tt i passed! i was shocked to c my chi results... really cld haf done better fer all mua subs! sighh... i jus nvr put in all e effort ii cld lorr... i haf failed... owells...

being a chairperson... i hafta help mrs see fer pw... n golly... why are some ppl so irritating! i mean... they alreadi dont haf a grp... and they are making things hard fer me cus they cannot find one yet they really want to go and FIND ONE? its fucking irritating okay... and they tink its so ez ahh... for me to help them... b the middlegurl n all... puh-lease... its rly hard okay... after all... if ppl rly dunwan u in their pw grp... they rly haf their reasons wad... sighh... sometimes... i rly feel lyk giving up very easily... bt somehow... i knw i hafta get overr n move on... or rly handle the situatuatiion in e right wayy... yupp. trying.

was talkiing to mrs khoh durin e free geog period today, n i realised tt las time, shss had a class tt had 3 humanities in it... wha lao eh... damn unfair rite... n i told her my difficulty to handle my sciences and my maths... and herr advice to me was jus to try n make e best outta e subs i haf n tt i shld nvr giv up... thanks cher... n so happen... at tt time... marcus and kaichin was havin a wonderful 'discussion' w gabriel... hahah... so much fer debating and transaction skills huh... lolz... wonder if such things wld happen again... haha... at least the girls nvr fight until liddat wan le... haha...

went out with pris after sch todayy. was havin an interesting chat with constance n pris on e buss... it was hella farnie n retarded n lame... that crazy retarded woman tt contance was toking abt was super wierdd... she how old le... n looks retarded and still can point middle finger... =\ hahaa... went w pris to eat at long john's... den walked around... bought a new bearr keychain to add to my collection... on my bag... hella cute leh! the name of the bear is called 'little bobo'... haha... $3.90... happen to c some bikinis tt were damn nice!! hahaa... den we entered tt shop... damn wierd lookin leh some of the colorss... the blood one... lol! -nudges pris- hahaz... was getting damn tired... saw adriel n anil... walking around in the mall too... haha... den we went to take neoprints... haha... its now on my display... mebbe gonna upload one to frenster? dont know yet lahh... c if i got time anot... haha... gonna show a particular one to my dear fren 472... ^^ wonder wad his reaction will b... rite pris? lol... den we went home... and suddenly... when i was alone... somethings struck me... came back to me... n i felt the impact... but nvm... told myself... control my emotions... i shldnt let the prob over take me... yupp. btw pris alwaes says tt i am gettin horny loadz... well... woman... u oso rite... hur hur... some of the wild things we started luffing abt was started by u okay... so dun say me onli... haha... and oh ya we are yet to bash up the thai elephant... rite? hahha... ah ma zheng is so gonna kill us... *hur hur* lets c if she can chase us anot.. uh oh... what if she uses her elephants? ahh... (gosh... lame)

haiz dont know what to do le... tmr... ms lim's gonna kill me fer writer's nite... sighh... den elly eio is prolly gonna scream at us tmr? den i hafta go fer e forum rehersal... walao... n i got phys project presenation @ e same time oso leh... *confused* dont know wad to do le... sighh... n i needa get my scripts ready! mann... im so -lagged-... sighh... gonna giv up le... fed up leh... but i am happy tt i haf got my GOOD frens to support me... my TRUE frens... hu are rly there for me... (havin the wierdd feelin cus u feel guilty??)

rly hafta thank some of my dears... hu haf been here fer me all this long... though sometimes rly dun haf much time to hang out w some... but... thanks fer showin me e concern... and givin me the support when i rly needed it... i wont say hu u guys are... cus u guys knw hu u rly are... =)

haha okay den... i g2g... tc all... bb...
(crosses fingers n hope to do well fer ss... n at least get 30+ fer chem and not fail -that- terribly?)

thanks: pris; marcus; kai chin; jacq;
luv u guys loads... [^^,]

-ALLinthenameofLOVE
*say goodbye to yesterday