Wednesday, May 11, 2005
21:59
i first thought... everything was fine... but then.... everything's crashing down... one by one... all over again...
(flash backk...)
i'm so happy... everything is patching up again... all my frenship probs... most settled le... not many le... family... e tension haf simmered down! n im da happeh freakk... yupp... my life rockss... everything took a turn... its now much better! im so glad... =) smiling... luffing n crappin w all my dearrs... n everything was so perfect... in e middle of e nite... i wld haf mua gd frens crapping w me online... esp. some ppl hu cld stay w me until i finished most of my work... well actually... someonee... yupp... n a few others... though not as frequent... i was so happeh tt everythingg was patching up... e happiness i longed for seeemed so close...
as i was abt to grabb it-
(reality.now.the present.wadever)
im gonna get disowned soon... my ah ma n i... rly cant stay 2gether in peace... fight... jus bcus she doesnt lyk e type of life im living... and im so diff frm all my cousins... n my siblings... i really wanna show her... tt i can do it... but darn it... im so fucking tired alreadi! im trying so hard... bt in e end she doesnt bother... i bring my frens in2 e house... hoping she wld knw more n try ta understand... i try to take my time off... to buy things fer her @ e mart... irregardless of my health conditions... but wad does she do? she nvr even say thanks... not even tt one word... not even a thanks... im not asking for much... but why mus she bring me down to tis state? ever since ive gone 2 shss... she's been treating me liddat... n she keeeeeps polluting my mind... "i can jus take a cab n go all e way to any other building to jump down..." so she implying wad. im gonna b responsible fer her death? im scared kaez... if she rly rly does anithing stupid... or if she rly gets called home 2 e lord cus she kena heart attk (she says i giv her heart pain)... m i to blame? im so gonna blame myself... for having sucha lifestyle... fer havin such kinda frens... fer being tis rebellious outcasted grand-daughter in her life.
my parents. r stuck? i dont know... but then again... they hafta listen to herr... she's more impt to them... so i will loose. yup. sure wan... ive tried a million times... even if they care... it cant make me any happier...
siblingss... exams now... c their stressed faces... sighh... im prayin fer them... -GOD BLESS- thank god dat now... everythin between me n them r okay... phew. at least... at the very least...
ok, next part...
frenship probs... kinda ok... wont elaborate la.. but... ya.. e onli msg i will send out to everyone is.. pls support e anti-down-syndrome-kiddo-organisation! i will b more than glad to open tis fan club.. but no one else knws abt it... except fer me n pris...
-shant elaborate-
ok next!
luv... luv shits... cannot reveal... yup. if not... some asses... ... ...
but all i can say is tt... things aint gng good. yup.
SHALL STOP HERE.
thanks in advance to: daron & pris... =)
-ALLinthenameofLOVE
*say goodbye to yesterday