Thursday, September 23, 2004
21:13

today. thurs. suppose to b in choir. but. pon tang. haha. wanted to studi. so went w KL 2 her void deck 2 studi. nt bad. at least managed to put some stressy parts away n focus. yups. esp those frenship n family n other stuffx. hmmm. really haf to thank her lor. if it wasnt for her, sighh, things will b very very difficult lah. b4 tt had geog remedial. a few went. not bad lehx. mdm marhaini is gud. hmmm yah. one small studi grp lah, so it waz worth it. hahaz. hope to do well fer my humanities [esp!] fer final year to pull me other subs up lor. i knw maths n sci impt, n i tryin my bez but it dun seem to work well lehx. i dun understand e damn maths lah! sighh. mid year got A2 fer it, but i seem to b doin worst n worst. i scared i flunk lor, n i really dunwan tt to happen. if i do tt, AHHHH! TKG!!! how!!! tts my target lah, but i really wanna do well lah. not onli cux of me tryin 2 get e chance to go TKG lah, but to get in2 a gud class in SHS if i cant get e damn hell outta tis skul. mann. but, hopefully i can clinch 3D lah, if i haf a choice. but if i get in2 3A or 3B, den ookay lor, cant reali do anithin bout it wad. sighh. but nah, no 3C for me lors! its lyk, no lit lah, though i get A fer Lit, i dun haf any interest. Oh ya, take for e.g lor, today lit, we doin romeo n juliet. im abit blurr lah, but a lil more studyin, hopefully can do e trick ba? hmmm, dunno lehx, my lit is lyk e marks alwaez not constant de. my poems n shrt stories r okay, but lyk F.B n e tooopid R n J shit i really sometimes cant grasp lah. sighh. lucky i put Lit as my 3rd option of e 3 humanities, dun xpect moi 2 suffer sehz! wellx. aft tis ill kinda haf ta rush fer home ed. I realy think that home ed pjts r a waste of time. now its streamin n they xpect us to do tis damn pjt. i nt so free to make those motifs shits lehx. sighh, i scared i dun do well fer my overall, den no confidence it tt, i dun c e point of broodin ova da bonus marks lehx. its lyk so pressurizin moi lehx. den okay fine dun tok bout tt, my gud fren aint givin moi her support anymore, n i haf one less gud fren, so its sucky mann, yup. sucky! i dunon lah. but i feel damn upset. n my heart hurts everytime she's ard n i dun even speak a word 2 her. yup today PE, captain's ball, din realy sae tok to her or stratagise w her lor, even when we were in e same grp. sighh. i dunno lah, but thins r reali gng haywire fer me. STRESS! yuck. its building. mann, hols need go back fer choir. so many thins gng on. i dunno where to start. i need some1's help, but it doesnt seem 2 come. blahdee hell, upsettin craps mann. sighh, i reali tink tt i cant cope. mebbe step down frm a choir comm. post? i dunno lah. so many thins to do n my life is so imperfect. sighh. i really wish life cld b so much betta. things between me n my family. haiz. not gud lah. need to try to get thins done more betta. as in... e relationship part lah. hahaz. needa go study soon, but i dunwan go off yet! i today study for lyk... 4+ hrs. ah gay. so sian. now chattin w a few ppl... hahaz. fun fun. ok lah, shall end here. k byebye

-ALLinthenameofLOVE
*say goodbye to yesterday